the cans of worms

Sunday
FREAKY FREAKY SUNDAY. It was definitely weird. But it let me see the ignorance and spite of many. People who just stood by and thought of it as nothing more than entertainment. People who were grinning like they were enjoying every moment of it. People who passed judgment without knowing head or tail. And people who actually cared. It showed me one thing. We need to fight our own battles. Because, hypocritical as it is, nobody really gives a flying fish.

And I would never have paid 29.50 to get on the Flyer. Not to see the IR construction.

Crystal ball
My worst grades ever. Summa cum laude graduation, nevertheless. Citi Associate. Citi Management Associate? Decisions, decisions, decisions....

Choices
I feel like puking just thinking about it. I'm just waiting for things to set themselves right. Unfortunately, indecision doesn't solve everything. It doesn't solve ANYTHING. I feel irritated. Surprisingly, it isn't with myself. It's with everything else. With timing, with attitudes. London is definitely coming at a good time. But what do I do till then? I know I'm not a bad person. But why do I fear that I am?

One can of worms traded in for another.

the final countdown...

In less than 10 hours, I will be done with SMU. I can't wait. I know it's going to be anti-climatic. It always is. But I'm still looking forward to it. I don't hate the university or anything. But I don't love it either. Still, I owe it to the school for showing me...

the not-so-good stuff...
how to be ruthless,
how to be overly-ambitious,
how to be competitive,
how to raise expectations,
how to suck up (although I'm hardly good at it),
how to be politely condescending of inferior deliverables,
how to fake a smile,
how to fake a concerned face,
how to exaggerate,
how to work for more than 24 hours at a go,
how to sleep 2 hours a day, for a week,
how to mind my own business,
how group study rooms are not used just for studying

the good stuff...
how to voice my opinions,
how to challenge the views of others,
how to engage almost anyone in conversation,
how to dress to kill,
how to sound like I know what I'm talking about,
how to become interested in bloomberg and cnbc,
how to create something out of nothing,
how to club the day before an exam,
how to complete the exam when you're still high,
how well work and beer go together,
how to study for a term's work in a day,
how the song 'closing time' goes,
how to choose friends,
how to be a friend,
how to let go,
how to leave it all to Him.

I think I'll be fine. yep.

the much-deserved break

A select few are flying. but i'm still struggling to take off.

Call me already, dammit!

In other news, London's finally becoming a reality. In a couple of months, for a couple of months. I hope I find an excuse not to come back. But that would be so evil and selfish of me given that our generous gahrmen will be footing the bill It's going to be cold and gloomy, just the way I like it. I can just picture myself. Beer in one hand, fag in another. Ok, maybe not. I'll have to make friends. I hate that part. I hope the accent rubs off me. It's quite sexy. Think Mischa Barton. I hope to attend nice big traditional churches on Sunday mornings to juxtapose my Friday and Saturday nights. Or every other night, if I'm lucky. I need to learn how to cook. I want to zig-zag across Europe, take lots of pictures, try space cakes, look at nice buildings, examine grand ruins, probably watch a soccer... sorry FOOTBALL match just to brag.

But before all that, I have my final four exams at SMU to clear in a week's time.

FINAL FOUR! (but still jobless)

the strategy

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier
because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

- Bessie Stanley