Chivas and green tea concoction. LETHAL. It's puzzling how one can be so devoid of emotion when sober, and exactly the opposite when not. Does it mean that I'm no different from the rest? That I'm an emotional wreck on the inside? But if I were, I would feel it. I would know it and I would be trying to suppress it, being the stoic that I am. I would be putting up a facade. But I'm really not. Maybe I've conditioned myself to be emotionally detached. To the extent that it doesn't require any conscious effort any longer. That's just sad.
That must be it. It has to be. Afterall, I'm still able to laugh, joke, dance, sincerely have fun, and not be burdened by the many, MANY things that have been happening over the course of the past 10 days. (No, it isn't just that one issue). I'm still in control, and I'm thoroughly impressed.
Last night, I had the nicest dream in a long while. Alas, it'll probably only remain a dream. I'm not sure what triggered it, her memory having been dormant for so long. I guess seeing her parents from a distance a couple of hours earlier had something to do with it. So the dream... It was a phone conversation. With someone I hardly know. I don't remember any visuals. All I can recall is that I was stammering like I used to when I was in primary school. And she ended the conversation saying something (I don't remember what) that was enough to make my heart skip a beat. And this is MY heart you're talking about. So it definitely is something.
I won't settle for less.
I can't.
And until someone like that comes along, I shall be obsessed with my imaginary friend.
That must be it. It has to be. Afterall, I'm still able to laugh, joke, dance, sincerely have fun, and not be burdened by the many, MANY things that have been happening over the course of the past 10 days. (No, it isn't just that one issue). I'm still in control, and I'm thoroughly impressed.
Last night, I had the nicest dream in a long while. Alas, it'll probably only remain a dream. I'm not sure what triggered it, her memory having been dormant for so long. I guess seeing her parents from a distance a couple of hours earlier had something to do with it. So the dream... It was a phone conversation. With someone I hardly know. I don't remember any visuals. All I can recall is that I was stammering like I used to when I was in primary school. And she ended the conversation saying something (I don't remember what) that was enough to make my heart skip a beat. And this is MY heart you're talking about. So it definitely is something.
I won't settle for less.
I can't.
And until someone like that comes along, I shall be obsessed with my imaginary friend.
