the day the bitches reigned

today, i encountered the worst possible customer. i caught her cheating. and she accused me of putting the blame all on her. bitch.

today, i also affirmed the existence of another sad, old bitch. bitch.

poor, poor bitches.

the books i read

This morning, I read a NORMAL book on my way to work. I say normal because my previous 2 were...

1. JESUS: A STORY OF ENLIGHTENMENT by Deepak Chopra. It'a a blasphemous book about His unrecorded 'lost' years. Chopra decides to conjure up random episodes of His life that most probably never ever happened, but serve to give a human experience to this person we call the Son of Man. These episodes supposedly allow a very mortal Jesus to discover the Way. For some reason, everytime I picture Chopra, I picture Mike Myers next to him.
2. UNDERCOVER SEX SIGNALS by Leil Lowndes. 'nuf said. In my defence, I only read one chapter and got bored of it.

So the normal book was simply titled 'THE RACE'. It's about finding the real journy in life. I like this book firstly because the pages are reallly smooth. And the message of the book is really cool. About focusing on what matters. Streamlining our priorities. Knowing what matters and what shouldn't. And while reading... I felt... CONNECTED.

the imaginary friend

Chivas and green tea concoction. LETHAL. It's puzzling how one can be so devoid of emotion when sober, and exactly the opposite when not. Does it mean that I'm no different from the rest? That I'm an emotional wreck on the inside? But if I were, I would feel it. I would know it and I would be trying to suppress it, being the stoic that I am. I would be putting up a facade. But I'm really not. Maybe I've conditioned myself to be emotionally detached. To the extent that it doesn't require any conscious effort any longer. That's just sad.

That must be it. It has to be. Afterall, I'm still able to laugh, joke, dance, sincerely have fun, and not be burdened by the many, MANY things that have been happening over the course of the past 10 days. (No, it isn't just that one issue). I'm still in control, and I'm thoroughly impressed.

Last night, I had the nicest dream in a long while. Alas, it'll probably only remain a dream. I'm not sure what triggered it, her memory having been dormant for so long. I guess seeing her parents from a distance a couple of hours earlier had something to do with it. So the dream... It was a phone conversation. With someone I hardly know. I don't remember any visuals. All I can recall is that I was stammering like I used to when I was in primary school. And she ended the conversation saying something (I don't remember what) that was enough to make my heart skip a beat. And this is MY heart you're talking about. So it definitely is something.

I won't settle for less.
I can't.

And until someone like that comes along, I shall be obsessed with my imaginary friend.

the bumpy ride

Leadership camp at Port Dickson went well. I like how I got convinced about things I never thought I'd be convinced about. I loved the intellectually stimulating lectures. I thought the food was pretty amazing. I liked both nights, different as they were - one was spent at a beachfront coffee stall that didn't keep tab of our orders and thereafter, vetting a friend's theology paper; the other was spent at a high society bar at the Hilton Hotel in KL. The lodging was BAD but it didn't really matter cos we hardly spent time in the rooms. Still, I made sure I was as far away from the ground as possible when I slept. Not exactly a fan of rodents.

First day at Citi and I fell asleep during the meeting cos I couldn't understand all the acronyms cos nobody had bothered to orientate me before that. RCPL, AKON, SC, Project C. Looks like I'll have to figure everything out on my own. I hope I leave an impression. A good number of Citi senior management are Indian. RESPECT.

I need to learn to stop being so defensive of my work. And stop thinking like a politician. Someone called me a "heavyweight" at exco today. I'm pretty sure that isn't a good thing. Maybe I should just stop expressing my opinions and start nodding my head to whatever anyone says...

The AWARE saga. Religion should be kept in the private space? MY FOOT. Religion should be out in the open. And we need to learn to appreciate different views. Having said that, I'm glad the new guards have admitted defeat. They weren't the culprits. The old guards were equally innocent too. The stealthy Murdochian wrongdoer is much much bigger. Much more powerful.

Big brother has a loud voice....