perfect love, all loves excelling.

more than enough for me.

:)

the magical land of...

Sometimes, when I'm in the mood to escape, I let my mind drift off with the sound of the pipe organ accompanying the voices of St. Paul's Cathedral Choir to a place I had almost instantaneously fallen in love with less than a year ago. Where I was happiest. Where I had learnt what it meant to truly live, and not merely exist. It was a time when every day was an adventure. It was a time when schedules, datelines and expectations didn't matter as much. It was a time when a 10 degree afternoon was referred to as cool weather. It was a time of thick coats, scarves, mulled wines, cheap beer, and late-night kebab dinners.

I wish those days back. I really do.

Until then, I'll let my memory recreate the magic.

the image forever etched in my mind

so what am i waiting for?

you.

come along now.

i don't bite

unless you want me to.

the dark sacred night

i see/hear
beauty in imperfection,
fear in opportunities,
love in the guise of hate,
care amidst ignorance,
humor in unhappiness,
company in solitude,
an insurmountable obstacle,
against the backdrop of the Omnipotent Almighty.
satisfaction from a distance,
a plea,
unintended intimidation,
faded passion,
a broken smile,
an empty seat.
oh, what a wonderful world.

the miss

i got so nervous, i was almost glad i had to rush off.

:S

the failed campaign

Waiting...
Waiting...
Waiting...
...for what seems like eternity.

I suspect that the year-end would look pretty different from how it began. In a good way, I hope. Comparing myself with me 12 months ago, I can't help but be amazed at how much better and simpler life is right now. I hope that this sets the trend. That it can only go uphill. Afterall, it's not so much the external circumstances that determine how good life is as it is the internal state of mind. (Ok, I watched ONE episode of Oprah). But seriously, I think I've discovered the art of being content with what I have. If traveling has taught me anything, it's that we need to take life a lot less seriously. We need to slow down. We need to realize that what matter the most are relationships - with God, family, and friends.

The first thing that struck me when I touched down in Singapore was how impolite we are. No smiles, no greetings. Just a huge, state-of-the-art airport and people wearing their solemn faces. 10 days in and I've already seen how ugly some of us are - the way we speak, how we respond to each other, our pathetic brand of humour, our excessive use of sarcasm, our lack of tact. We aren't as nice as we ought to be.

Unfortunately for us, a fine can't fix this.

the new experience

it's amazing how much there is to learn in life. especially when you think you've figured it all out. it's a never-ending journey of changing perspectives, priorities and mentalities. and as we change, we begin to make more sense of it all. we begin to understand how foolish we were before. we progress. or in some cases, regress. that's what wisdom must be - the sum of all our experiences and memories that culminates in our unique perspective on life and its many issues.

i'm not exactly happy. but i'm glad for the new experiences. the new feelings. i'm thankful, in all seasons, for a God who is in control.... if I let Him be.

the barcap interview

so after behaving like a proper nerd, borrowing 2 fixed income textbooks from the library although school's out, i've come to realise that the interview with barcap that i believe i flunked last week wouldn't have been all that bad if i had actually studied the right stuff. the consolation is that everyone feels that way after a major exam. so i'm hoping that the other candidates screwed up as badly as i did. whatever the case, my interviewer seemed to think (or at least, claimed) that i had done well. he said that he hoped i would do just as well in the next interview round as i had done with him. my response was a chuckle. he reciprocated. i sure hope he wasn't just paying lip service.

i found it rather amusing that my interviewer was calling in from LA, when I was in London, regarding a job in Singapore.

moving on to the next round, my interview's going to be with another American. i quite dislike the incomprehensible accent. i'll just keep my fingers crossed and hope that i ace this one and move on to the next round.

meanwhile, i'll just be thankful that i have choices, diverse as they may be.

oh, merry xmas & a happy new year. (",)