it will pass. i know it will. it must.

not so different afterall

3 years on. where the road diverges once again, where i'm faced with choices, i realize i haven't really changed. i've got a list. it doesn't seem to add up. so what do i do? i feel happy with one, i feel right with the other. but right is not always right. and when it ceases to be right, you realize that it never was after all. happy, on the other hand, is real. you can cease to be happy, but it doesn't put the happiness you felt before in question. it is what it is. you cannot fake happiness.

i may not be good enough. for anyone - only in that sense. but it is what i must do. i cannot imagine it any other way. sure. i would be happier. or would i? so i flirt with the boundaries. i toy with the idea rather riskily; conspicuously. but i will not dive into it. i dare not. i must not.

weird. i felt it today. i still got it. barely, but it's there. and if i fan that flame, i'll be alright.

it seems wrong. but i think it's right. for now.

the happy post

i am happier than i usually am. more accurately, i am less unhappy than i usually am.

i guess life is what we make out of it. there are risks we take. there are paths we wander onto, not really knowing where they lead to. but we take them anyway. at least, i think we ought to.

hope. :)

the culmination

job.
love.
friends.
life.
money.
ego.

F.

2 years on, and we haven't moved.

for the longest time, i didn't want to take the hint. i still dare not. because then there's nothing left. just a confused me. why not me.

maybe a year away will do me good. maybe more. maybe forever.


you give and take away. except. u haven't given.