(MAMA is a word in the Tamil language that translates to ‘uncle’ in English.)
A female friend of mine recently told me that she despised MAMAs and would never ever date one. She recounted clubbing experiences where if a MAMA was found to be chatting her up, her like-minded clubbing kaki would chivalrously butt in and literally drag her away, much to the dismay of the MAMA. So what exactly is a MAMA? And how do you identify members of this group that is so intensely loathed by a growing number of enlightened and liberated women? (Thank God!)
The MAMA is an idiot. He thinks he is the master of his partner. He is overbearing and imposing. He makes people nauseous. He leaves no breathing space for his partner. You see, he seems to think that she lacks cognitive ability of any measure.
The MAMA secretly thinks that his partner is prone to cheating on him the first chance she gets (little wonder why). He cloaks his insecurity with jealousy, and his jealousy with spite. Spite, under the guise of ‘the protective boyfriend’, is what makes the MAMA tick.
The MAMA does not really believe in the Woman’s Charter. He hopes his partner doesn’t either.
The MAMA is a control freak. He redraws his partner’s social life. Heck, he’ll eventually redraw her work, school and family life as well and make things miserable for both of them. But I think that’s the way he likes it. He has a pride issue. What he says needs to become law, or his pride will get hurt and he acts up.
The MAMA thinks his partner is his prized possession. That’s sweet. But he doesn’t understand that objectifying her isn’t exactly flattering to her. He may turn physically violent at times. After all, it is no crime to abuse what is his own. He operates from the owner-owned paradigm.
The MAMA fails to understand that relationships are, by definition, symbiotic/mutualistic.
- To all MAMAs out there, repent. It sucks to be labeled as one of you guys.
- To all potential MAMAs, look out for the aforementioned telltale signs regularly
- To all partners of MAMAs, I understand that you have mamaphilia (see previous post on paraphilias). Seek treatment. And stay away from me. Your MAMA won't like it if you don't.
- To all potential partners of non-MAMAs, I am not a MAMA.
Why is this post important? Because we don’t want to wake up one day and realize that we’ve become MAMAs, and the smart, independent, confident, witty, clear thinking and attractive women all hate us. It is for this reason that I urge my friends to knock my head (figuratively) if and when I begin to display any MAMA-traits.
