the brownies and the fillial children

The waiter at Pastamania was amusing us by doing karate actions while serving us. He looked Japanese. And my friend commented that he was wearing new pants cos she smelt the newness.

I received a bag of brownies today. I really like my brownies. I have more than one baker friend :)

Two of my friends are making me feel a tad unfilial. One is contemplating giving her parents $300 a month when she begins working. The other has made it her duty to take over the household finances the moment she graduates. Market spoilers, I tell you.

The more I think of how financially responsible these guys are, the more exasperated and infuriated I become with the financially irresponsible. But that's about all I can do. Bleah.

"I don't like it"

the hidden bar

Collected my Bombay Sapphire today. :):) Thank you, dear!

- it's English, not Indian -

You know you've patronized a restaurant too often when the manager recognizes you and starts joking with you. And that makes it harder to complain about service or anything else. Met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a LOOOONG while (and who had forgotten all about me, although she denies it). Had some DEEEEEP discussions about the usual things we talk about. She says that I'm the last person she'll come to for marriage advice :(

Finally found out what x Strip, xx Strip and xxx Strip mean.

Searched high and low for this bar my friend had told me about a couple of days ago. Ebar. He had said it was tucked away in a quiet corner of The Cathay. He was right. Found it eventually and what I saw was quite pleasing to the eye. I wouldn't call it a bar per se. It's more like a chill out spot. Very private.

- I'm holding on to a WW1 phone so here's something off the web. sorry-

Seems they play bossa nova and pop. (yes, awesome combination). And there's a nice Wii console right in the middle. The drinks were cheap. The music was alright. Well it was alright UNTIL they started playing house. Yes, the awful thumping music you hear at Cafe del Mar. but this music was special. the lyrics went like this:

He's my peace (yes he is)
He's my joy (yes he is)
He's my life (yes he is)
He's my braaadder (yes he is)

He's my soul (yes he is)
He's my love (yes he is)
He's my (inaudible noun) (yes he is)
He's my breath (yes he is)

Christian house.

Amen.

the way we deal with grief

I realise that I haven't been blogging about issues in a long while. So here goes.

For those of us who read the papers, you may know that on July 3, an SMU sailor fell out of the boat when returning to shore after training and went under never to resurface again. Two days later, his body was found.

I went to the guy's FB profile as soon as I found out because I'm never good with names and wanted to see if I knew the guy or had done a project with him before. This was on July 4, a day after he went missing and his body was not yet found. The following testimonials caught my eye:

• "please come back and kick my ass for being your lousy faci for meta camp 07"
• "Hey you... Gay partner... Where are you? Come back soon.. waiting for you to come back to continue our gayness... Am SURE that you will be back!"
• "we still got BKT to eat.. we still got SE to take.. where are you?"
• "BRO! Where are you, come back! We need to talk about THE OFFICE man."
• "hey.. come out ald.. I'm waiting for you to pop out of no where and laugh at me for falling for your prank. Come back and throw away the kopitiam cup u left in the Rlab. Dont litter! or will come after you. Nobody is going to clean it up for you u know, come back and clean your table up!"

And the following day, when the body was found, this appeared:

• "To the other 4 kids on the boat who did nothing when (he) went under the water, u r either some idiots or just plain pussies."

Reading these testimonials, I was appalled by the lack of sensitivity for the guy. Imagine if those testimonials were said out, instead of posted on FB. Imagine how weird it would have been to have to hear things like that when you're at a wake or funeral service. Imagine what his parents would have felt. People trying to inject humor into grief, or people trying to look for someone to blame. (and if nobody is found to be at blame, there's always that punching bag called God)

A few days later, still disturbed by the fact that SMU undergrads could be so insensitive and immature, it dawned upon me that maybe it wasn't an issue of sensitivity. It's just our way of dealing with grief. Some cry, some joke, some clam up, some blame, some become aloof, some give up, some go bonkers. Maybe the only person who was insensitive was me - for thinking that they were insensitive. They were, after all, friends of his and going through a tough time while I was just an onlooker.

How would I deal with grief? I guess I'd just be plain stoic about the whole episode. And I'd keep myself busy. I wouldn't be surprised if I don't even turn up at the wake when someone dear to me passes on.

I find comfort in solitude.

the bats, the birthday and the barney

The group tt accompanied me on the grange road haunted house escapade expanded to include 5 others and we headed down to 2 other scary looking colonial buildings near the botanical gardens. I was being an idiot and trying to scare some already-shit-scared people. I don't think it worked, though. The second house was REALLLY smelly. Had bat droppings all over. The group hesitated to go up the flight of stairs to the second floor cos the smell seemed to be emanating from there. We didn't exactly want to discover a rotting corpse, you see. After some deliberation, we finally went up and discovered the gruesome source of the smell....

- these are bats. dead, rotting, stinking bats. a whole room -

Had a surprise 21st birthday for a friend. I'm not sure if he was entirely surprised. But I skipped class just to help out so I'd like to think that he was. The cake was AWESOME. I have a baker friend. Thank you, baker-friend. :)

- awesome cake. seriously awesome -

I attended a baby shower and saw Barney. He sang the "I love you, you love me" song. I wanted to whack his head. Oh, then there was the dance floor. I'm getting old. i must have danced to 4 songs at most. But my body ached all night.

The church wall scratched my car on Sunday :( I just might sue. :(:(:(

the shit-scary day

So we decided to head back to the haunted house. This time with a different group. And we were armed with a trusty torchlight and two umbrellas. Drove down to town at 2am, got lost for a bit (typical me). As ominous as it sounds, it began pouring just as we entered town. As though someone was trying to tell us something. We finally found the place and parked at the 'NO ENTRY OR BE PROSECUTED' sign and waited. And waited. And I was thinking aloud about how awesome it would be if it were only me and a girl in the car, much to the disgust of the others.

Rain finally slowed to a drizzle and we headed up the long windy road to the house. Eerie tapping sounds greeted us at the entrance. Still we persisted (after almost running away). The sounds turned out to be rain droplets on an empty beer can. I found it really cool that the staircase in that old, dilapidated house was carpeted. Either that, or it was mould. But it looked nice. We were doing alright until one of us decided to open the umbrella and stand under it while still inside the house. That was enough to freak me out, and freak the rest out in the process. So we scooted, shit-scared.

We sort of covered the whole first floor. So that's some progress. 2 more floors to go. See pics below. (Since i'm receiving complaints that my blog is too wordy. hmph.)

- Check out the eerie blue glow -

- i see a head. can you? spooky -

Finally collected my bottle of Absolut Mango today. :) Thanks, buddy!

Oh. I saw three days' worth of human feces at the lift landing of my friend's place. Seriously, the culprit has some serious issues, other than constipation and involuntary bowel movements.

Today left us shit-scared, indeed.

Il Christo Degli Abissi

Beneath the calm waters of Key Largo Dry Rocks, Florida lies a humble nine feet bronze sculpture called 'Il Christo Delgli Abissi', which is Italian for 'The Christ of the Abyss'. I intend to visit it some day.

"If I take the wings of the morning,
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
even there shall thy hand lead me,
and thy right hand shall hold me."

Some day....

the treat and the Spanish win

Lunch at Thai Accent was a very pleasant experience (due, in part, to the fact that it was a birthday treat for me by some nice friends of mine so I wasn't paying). Thank you so much :) The food was great. One of the best tom yam soups I've tasted in a loooong time. For some reason, the whole feel of the place wasn't very Singaporean. Must have been the view of the sea or the cotton cushions covers, but I could almost swear I was at some exotic Indonesian beach resort. Guess this'll be as close as it gets to traveling out of the country for now.

Germany lost. Not like I was hoping for a win. Guess it's a good thing that I refrained from betting. I did some rough calculations and realized that the Spaniards' win should bring some hope to us English fans. See...

• Spain last won the European Championships in 1964, 44 years ago.
• England last won the World Cup in 1966, 42 years ago.
• The next World Cup is in 2010 :)

Now, if only numerology actually worked.

the haunted house

I found out that getting 15 people seats at a crowded Thai Express at peak hour without reservations is quite a feat. But we managed to do it anyway. Encountered a rude waitress who probably forgot that we were paying 10% as service charge.

After a late game of truth or truth at Starbucks (where I decided not to order anything due to previous harrowing experiences), we decided to explore a haunted house along Grange Road. Yes, one would think that busy Orchard would be the last place for the paranormal to nest. But in the dead of the night, you'd think again. On a moonless night, trying our best to ignore the ominous sound of racing cars cruising in a distance, five brave souls decided to venture out into the unknown. So up the hill we went.... (and then we frantically ran back down cos we thought we saw the cops, but they turned out to be other curious adventure seekers. so we went back up, slightly embarrassed)... We saw orbs, an eerie white circle in the middle of nowhere, an ugly withering tree, and the dilapidated house with its boarded up windows . And then as we were entering the house, one of us smelt heroine. Not wanting to disturb them, we decided to come back another time when the druggies weren't hiding out there.

It's funny how I managed to NOT hang out with this group of people I've known for over two years. I'm not sure how that happened. Anyway, I'm glad we hung out today. Always nice to know that people aren't as serious as they appear to be. :)

Only today, it dawned upon me that taking the NR service instead of the cab saves me a shitload.

Take care, friend! I wish you only the best. Don't forget me when you become rich and successful! :)

the decisions we make

Can someone PLEASE pity me and give me 100k. I kinda need that much if I wanna get into Stern, Columbia or Stanford (if i can even get in). Or maybe I should just work. It sucks to have to make decisions before you actually have to.

Much as I dislike trance (or psychedelic trance, or whatever), I might be heading down to Zouk to catch Infected Mushroom spin this weekend. Apparently, they attract all the druggies to their gigs. I'll fit right in. The extent some of us go to just to belong.

The odds of Germany winning Euro has dropped to 1.9 now. what did i tell you :)

the indian club

Rupee Room didn't happen, but Celebrities did. Things don't ever go according to plan, do they? We were contemplating O Bar, Gotham, Jeanz or Celebrities and being the Indians that we were, we just HAD to choose the last, didn't we?

It wasn't that bad actually. I got reminded of my classless clubbing days at Raaga years ago: ridiculously expensive covers, lousy air-conditioning, industrial fans, soaking wet dance floor, stool thieves (ourselves included), ugly girls, guy molesters, young punks who think that clubbing is all there is to life, over-sized transsexual-like women in nighties (i am NOT kidding), fragile glass door that breaks when you slam it too hard, fight at the entrance preventing anyone from leaving, fight breaking out just as we're leaving.

Discounting all that, I guess it was alright.

I'm really glad a certain friend of mine enjoyed herself thoroughly. Tonight was for you, after all. You seriously needed those freak out moments. You'll be fine. I just know it.

Someone pls kick me (figuratively) the next time I even consider stepping into a classless Indian club. Wait, was 'classless' redundant? :)

the birthday

to all those who wished me.. a BIG THANK YOU! and apologies if I had to ask who you were. it really isn't my fault. stupid phone broke when i sat on it and only about half my contacts could be transferred over to my SIM card. and the stupid warranty doesn't cover LCD cracks. so now i'm stuck with an ancient Nokia which can't play mp3s.

i've decided to drop the whole internship search and do a second summer term instead. that means half my evenings are burnt. i've also decided to ambitiously try and graduate by June next year. funny how perspectives change suddenly and you're heading in a different direction before you realize it. just like the Croatia quarter-finals. (and for the record, i'm predicting the Germans to win the championship. odds at 2.45 right now.)

i'm STILL waiting... bleargh.

the escapist

when I wanna get my mind off something, it helps to do the following. i decided to list them just in case I forget:

1. Sleep
2. Bang away on the piano and pretend to be a maestro
3. Swim 10 laps at 2am
4. Gym (although I've kinda put this on hold for awhile now)
5. Day-dream about gymming
6. Day-dream about anything else
7. Listen to Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Michael Buble and/or John Legend
8. Watch ancient episodes of Seinfeld, Futurama or The Office
9. Read finance books or watch CNBC and feel smart
10. Drive along deserted roads with the radio deliberately turned off in the dead of the night
    
11. Cruise along expressways with the radio blasting and windows wound down in the dead of the night.

Yep, that should be it. Gonna watch Futurama now :)

[note that drinking/clubbing isn't on the list. those vices tend to have the opposite effect, as some of you already know :P]

the bucket list

I'm not sure why the critics gave 'The Bucket List' a C-. Maybe the acting wasn't all that great, the effects were hardly present, and the script needed a lot more work (it took the writers all but 2 weeks afterall). But I found the message it was trying to convey really heartwarming; profound even.

"It’s difficult to measure the sum of a person’s life. Some may tell you it’s measured by the ones left behind, some believe it can be measured in faith, some say by love, other folks say life has no meaning at all. Me? I believe that you measure yourself by the people who measure themselves by you."

Maybe it doesn't seem all that profound prima facie. But I have a hunch we'll never be able to fully appreciate its meaning until we're at that crossroad. This much I know: no man's an island, and eulogies are important.

I'll try to remember that.

the fathers' day special

Today marks a momentous occasion because on this day, I made my first meal. yes, to commemorate father's day, i cooked. albeit with A LOT of help from my co-chefs (cousins). now i realise that cooking can be really satisfying. so this was on the menu for today:

Pan-fried salmon in orange sauce, baked potato with sour cream and bacon, sauteed long beans and shitake mushrooms, served with wasabi mayonnaise and a glass of sparkling apple juice (cos my uncle forbade white wine). For desert, Bailey's Irish Cream ice-cream with grated orange rind.

(fyi, the 'l' in salmon is silent.)

- after 2 hours... i present, the Fathers' Day Special -

Oh, Helipad didn't happen afterall. Bummer. But I decided to be really nice and send my friends off at the airport. Even though they were flying off to Maryland and missing my birthday.

Everyone's flying. I want to fly too.... but where?

the unlucky friday

Today was Friday the thirteenth indeed.

1. Had no car today since brother presented me with an ultimatum and I decided that private transport would be more useful on a Saturday than a Friday.

2. Friend was 40mins late

3. Charity concert that we went to wasn't all that great. It wasn't really a concert, cos no one was paying any attention to what was being done on stage.

4. Bad music, bad songs. We had to endure 90 minutes of unheard of metal songs rendered by some obscure B-grade band.

5. Friend fell sick and started shivering uncontrollably at one point.

6. Missed two 502s while crossing the road to the bus-stop and had to wait 45mins before the next two came (yes, 502s come in pairs).

7. Had the displeasure of watching two ang mohs make out at the back of the bus.

bleargh......

my consolation for today was my glass of gin tonic and confirmation that tmr's Helipad escapade's gonna happen after all.

the Central

tcc at The Central doesn't look as nice on the inside as it is from the outside. The seats were too low (or the tables were too high), and the place had an overall dingy feel. Maybe it was the classical Victorian-era leather-upholstered sofa theme that I've never been a fan of. So dull, serious, erudite and stifling. Having said that, the food's still fabulous, the company was great, and that's what counts eh? Still, stay away from the coffee-based drinks. My connoisseur uncle says they suck.

I couldn't locate Helipad at The Central. I simply MUST find it. It seems to promise much since it has affiliations to Liquid Room, Soundbar and Km8. Spanning 2 floors, it houses both a club and a rooftop al fresco area. I think it'd be cool to gyrate to club beats.. then take a breather at a chill-out area just one floor up.. then go back to gyrating when you're up to it.

Was looking forward to Attica's themed party this Sat, then i discovered yet another illogical age limit (25 for guys. wth). oh well. i'll just hope that something else crops up. Helipad maybe? :P:P:P

these days, i'm beginning to understand what Cinderella's prince felt like.

the curse of expectations

Expectations drive many. but expectations are the cause of disappointment for many - for friends, friends with benefits, family, lovers, group mates, team mates.

i wonder what a world devoid of expectations would be like.

probably... happier. in a chaotic sort of way.

the MAMA

This post contains an observation of the behavior of a particular group. This group is NOT defined by race, gender, age or religion. As such, it may not be cleanly identified by the aforementioned parameters. Rather, it is defined by a pattern of behavior. Consequently, this post is in no way, racist, sexist, ageist or religiously intolerant. It is, at most, “behaviorist”. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you…. the MAMA.

(MAMA is a word in the Tamil language that translates to ‘uncle’ in English.)

A female friend of mine recently told me that she despised MAMAs and would never ever date one. She recounted clubbing experiences where if a MAMA was found to be chatting her up, her like-minded clubbing kaki would chivalrously butt in and literally drag her away, much to the dismay of the MAMA. So what exactly is a MAMA? And how do you identify members of this group that is so intensely loathed by a growing number of enlightened and liberated women? (Thank God!)

The MAMA is an idiot. He thinks he is the master of his partner. He is overbearing and imposing. He makes people nauseous. He leaves no breathing space for his partner. You see, he seems to think that she lacks cognitive ability of any measure.

The MAMA secretly thinks that his partner is prone to cheating on him the first chance she gets (little wonder why). He cloaks his insecurity with jealousy, and his jealousy with spite. Spite, under the guise of ‘the protective boyfriend’, is what makes the MAMA tick.

The MAMA does not really believe in the Woman’s Charter. He hopes his partner doesn’t either.

The MAMA is a control freak. He redraws his partner’s social life. Heck, he’ll eventually redraw her work, school and family life as well and make things miserable for both of them. But I think that’s the way he likes it. He has a pride issue. What he says needs to become law, or his pride will get hurt and he acts up.

The MAMA thinks his partner is his prized possession. That’s sweet. But he doesn’t understand that objectifying her isn’t exactly flattering to her. He may turn physically violent at times. After all, it is no crime to abuse what is his own. He operates from the owner-owned paradigm.

The MAMA fails to understand that relationships are, by definition, symbiotic/mutualistic.

• To all MAMAs out there, repent. It sucks to be labeled as one of you guys.
• To all potential MAMAs, look out for the aforementioned telltale signs regularly
• To all partners of MAMAs, I understand that you have mamaphilia (see previous post on paraphilias). Seek treatment. And stay away from me. Your MAMA won't like it if you don't.
  
• To all potential partners of non-MAMAs, I am not a MAMA.

Why is this post important? Because we don’t want to wake up one day and realize that we’ve become MAMAs, and the smart, independent, confident, witty, clear thinking and attractive women all hate us. It is for this reason that I urge my friends to knock my head (figuratively) if and when I begin to display any MAMA-traits.

the paraphilias and the wrong drinks

The other day, I chanced upon an article on paraphilias. For those who don't know, a paraphilia is an intense sexual interest that deviates from usual sexual behavior. I found the list really entertaining and have listed the more quirky ones below. Do note that since these paraphilias have clinical names assigned to them, it's quite reasonable to assume that they are not just one-off isolated cases. Read on and you'll find out why this is quite worrying.

• Abasiophilia - attraction to people with impaired mobility eg. people who use leg braces and wheelchairs
• Agalmatophilia - attraction to statues, dolls and mannequins
• Coprophilia - deriving pleasure from feces
• Dacryphilia - attraction to sobbing people
  
• Dendrophilia - attraction to trees
• Dippoldism - deriving pleasure from corporal punishment to children
• Emetophilia - deriving pleasure from vomiting or observing others vomit
• Macrophilia - attraction to fictitious giants, primarily giant women
• Salirophilia - deriving pleasure from disheveling the object of one's desire eg. tearing or damaging their clothing, messing up their hair or makeup
• Necrophilia - attraction to corpses
• Odaxelagnia - deriving pleasure from biting or being bitten
• Paraphilic infantilism - deriving pleasure from wearing diapers, and being treated as an infant.
• Teratophilia - attraction to 'deformed' or 'monstrous' people
• Vorarephilia - deriving pleasure from the idea of being eaten or eating another (!!)
  
• Zoophilia - attraction to a non-human animal

All true, as reported in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published by the American Psychiatric Association.

Yep... so anyway, I keep ordering the wrong drinks at coffee joints. Yesterday at Gloria Jean's, I paid 6 bucks for a mug of Hot White Chocolate. I'm not sure why it tasted like Nespray powdered milk. (Note that I could probably buy a whole tin of Nespray milk powder for $6). Today at Starbucks, I ordered some variation of iced latte. Let's just say that it was a grueling 24 ounces.

the office

yesterday was an awesome day for me because i finally got access to the rest of Season 4 of The Office. the production stalled last November because of the writers strike that lasted 100 long days. and when the strike ended in Feb this year, the new episodes weren't being released as quickly as i had expected them to. and when they finally got aired on NBC, they weren't making their way to ardent fans in faraway lands like sunny Singapore. so.. you can understand why i think that yesterday was an awesome day.

- :) the dysfunctional dunder mifflin paper company-

i found the whole writers strike episode pretty intriguing. Sure. in the Land of the Free, unions have all the right to strike in order to prove a point or make a stand. nevertheless, i was still intrigued by 2 issues:

1. Why don't we see strikes in Singapore? Yes, this would be a cliched response, warranting cliched arguments that could go uncomfortably political. and since I don't exactly like prison food, I shall be wary and not elaborate on them except to say that our country would be a far more exciting place to live in if we had strikes. wouldn't it be exciting if suddenly we don't have radio deejays, or supermarkets, or water, or electricity, or hospitals, or.. .. refuse collection.
   
2. Having said that, how effective would a writers strike be in Singapore? Really, who would give a hoot if local programming was suspended? Or if local musicians stopped releasing albums? Rhetorical. I have to say... if I were brought up in a place where the potential for good moolah to be made by musicians was higher than here (in the Land of the Free, for example), I might have considered taking up music professionally. This is NOT a ruse to justify my musical stagnation or, even, deterioration. :(

I have an inkling that Singapore's not gonna make it to World Cup 2010, or 2100 for that matter. punters made a shitload as always. seriously, 7-3 is retarded.